Buying gifts, indulging in expensive food, feeling the sudden urge to buy fancy bedding and towels for your guests, the electricity bill for the light display that needs to be utterly extraordinary.... and let's not even mention the many planners you feel compelled to buy.
Or is that last one just me?! ;)
If we look to wise Mother Nature for a bit of a sense check however, she is doing the complete opposite.
Animals are hibernating, plants are dying back so they can bloom again next year, and the beautiful autumn leaves are decomposing, nourishing the earth for new growth next spring.
The end of the year is a symbolic time for taking stock, celebrating, percolating and thinking about what to let go of as we move into a shiny new year.
Personally, I’m working on letting go of perfectionism; or letting go of ‘some’ of my perfectionism, otherwise I’m in danger of trying to do that perfectly too!
Why is it so hard to let go?
Well, here’s the bottom line. Letting go of something, anything, means there will be a change. And that’s why it’s hard, because change unsettles us. Humans are creatures of habit, and we find comfort in familiarity.
This, as it happens, is why we stay so long in painful situations; jobs that stifle our creative spark, friendships that don’t serve us, and in homes that don’t feel like home. We are hardwired to stay safe... even when it means we overwhelm ourselves as a result of resisting change.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could let go of our urge to cling to uncomfortable familiarity?
I may be wishing for the moon on a stick here. But what many of us brave souls CAN muster is the courage to let go of small things – little things that over time add up to a big change for the better.
I’ve seen many of my wonderful clients do it for themselves this year, and I couldn’t be prouder of them!
And for those brave clients of mine, letting go of something small that wasn’t helping them, made a little space for something better to come in. Therefore, less is more!
Less putting up with 'stuff' = more room for better things
Less beating yourself with the perfectionism stick = more self-care
We all know that a great way to achieve any goal is to break it down into bite-sized chunks, or micro goals along the way. So we are starting with our best foot forward – let a big thing go by releasing your grip, one stubborn finger at a time.
But wait, there is more…
Using my theory of ‘less is more’, I’d like you to try thinking of what you can gain by letting go.
As I said above, it’s when you clear out the old, negative stuff you needed to get rid of, that you create the space in your life for something better to come in.
So what if rather than focusing on loss, deprivation, or any other negative connotation of letting something go… you focus on what you will gain instead?
For example, when I let go of some of my perfectionism, I make room for learning.
Instead of flogging myself about a ‘mistake’, I choose to view it as a learning opportunity. And when I stop wasting time on triple-checking all of my work for perfectionisms’ sake, I gain time to do something lovely that fills my soul, like taking a walk in the winter sunshine.
Now I’ve got you (hopefully) into the frame of mind to start letting things go a little so that you can make time to gift yourself more joy, let’s explore what’s underneath those things that you want to let go of.
Our quirks (like my perfectionism) don’t just download from the universe and choose us as hosts for no reason. We usually develop our quirks in childhood, and they are typically as a result of a negative belief we have about ourselves.
I know you know this – it’s just that my inner perfectionist felt the need to recap... I’m still working on letting parts of her go!
Back to my point. What I want to remind you of, is that when you do start letting go of whatever you need to let go of, be prepared for a few uninvited emotions to pop up.
Our quirks, behaviours, and other 'fun' things we start letting go of, have typically become our coping mechanism for whatever negative belief we formed to do with that behaviour.
So for example, perfectionism is typically about the “I’m not good enough” belief, underneath which is fear of not being liked, or being judged.
I share this not to put you off – just to prepare you!
A few childhood demons may pop up and bother you a little bit. I want to remind you that this is all part of the process. See your demons like the weird little cartoonish-features of your imagination that they are, and wave them goodbye. With love ;)
They don’t have to travel with you forever. And personally, I think the close of a year is a great time to wish them bon voyage.
What do you think?
As I’ve been talking about letting things go, dealing with childhood gremlins, and how fabulously brave my clients are – it feels almost seamless (almost *winks*) to tell you about a couple of special things I have to offer you in the New Year.
For the first time ever, I am opening up 2 places in January for 2 midlife women who are ready to embark on a one-to-one Magical Life journey with me to press pause and rediscover who they came here to be.
You may have already heard about the Magical Life Circle programme, which runs as a small group over 6 months, and this follows the same tried and tested pathway.
It brings together 1-to-1 mentoring, a safe space for you to set and explore your soul goals, and the pathway from my book, The Magical Unfolding.
You also get the Magical Life Mastery online course to supplement and support your journey, so that you always have access to the energy and mindset shifting tools you love most.
My second offering is the next group Magical Life Membership journey, with a new group of intrepid, curious souls for 2020!
Last year’s pilot group reported increased self-awareness, presence and a connection with themselves that has allowed more exploration, and the bravery to step up towards their personal calling.
From offering Reiki sessions outside of their day job, embracing their creativity, letting go of not knowing and worrying about what's next, to starting each day grounded and being more present for their loved ones, my awesome graduates are living with more purpose and joy, and I couldn’t be prouder of their progress.
Head HERE to be first in line to hear more about the next small group Magical Life Circle and if you have questions about one-to-one mentoring, then just reach out.
You can drop me an email here.
If you are interested in exploring mentoring with me in 2020, make sure you’re on my mailing list to receive updates and hear about opportunities to work with me.
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